When you go on a bunch of dates with different people you can easily fall into the trap of overthinking those folks’ actions & motivations.

“Why didn’t this or that person call me after they said they would?”

“Why did they say we would go camping this weekend, and then ghost me?”

Your friends tell you, “Forget that person. Live your life. It doesn’t matter why they didn’t call you. You deserve someone who calls when they say they will.”

I say the same thing to job seekers, who can (understandably) fall into the trap of overthinking every interaction with employers & recruiters.

“Why did they reschedule my interview and then cut it short?”

“Why did they say they’re waiting for approval to hire me, then ghost me?”


They don’t deserve the brain and heart cells you are investing in them. If they rise from the ashes at some point and make you an offer you will consider it or not, based on your circumstances at that point.

But for now, they are nothing and nobody to you.

Every other employer & recruiter on earth means more to you now than the ones you’re losing sleep over.

You only need one hiring manager to get you & thus deserve you. It doesn’t matter why random amateurs and jokers misused your time.

There is a lot of that around. Go forth!


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