The Tragic Interview Mistake Nearly Everybody Makes

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It’s frustrating when a job interview goes badly – or worse, when an interview seems to go great in the moment but as you think about the conversation later you wonder:

Did my interview go well, after all?

Unless you get the job offer, how would you know?

I was an HR leader for decades, so I interviewed thousands of candidates.

A lot of those folks got hired in our company but a lot of other candidates didn’t.

It isn’t their fault.

A hiring manager interviewing candidates has a lot on their mind apart from the interview, even when they’re in it.

Their mind is full. They’ve probably come straight from a meeting in the interview room.

Now they have to focus on the interview conversation – but that’s not easy to do.

The biggest and most common interview problem is being forgotten.

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I’ve seen it happen many, many times.

As the HR person in a recruiting pipeline I’d stop by the hiring manager’s office the day after an interview to ask them, “How was your conversation with Madeline?”

“Madeline?” the hiring manager might ask.

“Yes, Madeline, who worked at First Bank and just got her MBA – you interviewed her yesterday. I brought her down to your office and introduced you two.”

“Okay, give me a second,” says the hiring manager.

What happened? Why did the hiring manager forget Madeline within 24 hours of meeting her?

Unfortunately, Madeline was not fully present in the interview. She was away somewhere in her head. I know this because I interviewed her just before Madeline and I walked down the hall to meet her hiring manager.

I coached Madeline as we wrapped up our conversation. “Interviews can be stressful,” I said. “If you want to take a second before you answer a question or make an observation, go ahead, there’s no rush. It’s not an audition. We’re just talking about the job, your background, things you’ve done already that are similar to this job, your questions for me, and so on. Don’t stress over whether me or any interviewer seems to like what you’re saying or doesn’t react or anything else. It’s not important.”

Madeline nodded in agreement but when you are taught since childhood to see an interview as a chance to please the interviewer, it’s hard to shake that concept.

It’s hard to get out of your brain and relax into the interview conversation.

If I can tell that you’re outside yourself, evaluating every word you say then anyone can see it. When you are not in your body, you’re not in your power. The conversation is stilted.

None of this your fault or any candidate’s fault, of course. The interview process is often way too formal and power-unequal, and it shouldn’t be.

You have just as important a decision to make as any hiring manager has. They are adding one person to their team. You are choosing an employer who will make up 100% of your client base and very likely, 100% of your income!

Still, the biggest reason people don’t get second interviews or job offers is that they’re disappearing into the chair and being forgotten.

Think about conversations that stick with you after the conversation is over. They are vibrant. They have impact. People in the conversation speak with conviction.

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A good interview is exactly like that. 

The best way to get better at staying in the conversation and staying in your body – in your power – during an interview is to do so many interviews that the interview process doesn’t rattle you anymore.

I want you to be choosy about which job you take, but when your goal is to become more comfortable interviewing, don’t be too choosy about which interviews to take! Accept interview invitations even if you’re not sure the job would interest you. Right now, that’s not the point. The point right now is to drop into your self, your mind and power on job interviews.

That will allow your brilliance, spark and energy to flow into the conversation!

If your interviews haven’t been as awesome as you’d like them to be – that is, as awesome as you are – sign up here for my free Interviewing Boot Camp tips this month! Get on the list to get my interview suggestions, examples and scripts as I prepare to teach my Interviewing course for the only time this year.

Let’s make sure your interviews convey your wisdom and experience, and let’s get you the job you deserve!

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